The pink elephant in your head...

As I see clients, and assist them with both love lives and career, I notice a pattern-all of us have a BIG pink elephant that sits in the corner of our minds, making us believe we have some flaw that enables us to make the change to go for the happiness we desire.

The elephant is that space in your mind that you don’t want to talk about! The thing you believe is behind why you cant finding love, aren’t’ truly satisfied in your relationship, aren’t as successful as you want to be, or haven’t make the career strides you planned. If only you were more attractive, skinnier, more successful, younger, from a better family, went to a better school, listened more in third grade, had more connections, THEN things would be different!

We all have the belief that we need to have everything perfectly together, and we are lacking if we don’t. We strive for the ideal goal of success, true love, amazing kids, good health, and ultimate happiness. We are unapologetic to ourselves during a downturn, and instead look at the lives of others we perceive have “it all” romanticizing their existence.

Unfortunately, life is not always so simple, love, success, and health one year doesn’t guarantee the same rewards in the next. So, the elephant gets bigger.

So, why let it sit there? Because awakening it, facing it or, admitting to your self why you’re frustrated, or aren’t satisfied often means change-and change is hard! There are some situations you are stuck in, there isn’t a quick fix for, and they can take time and there are certain things it just seems easier to keep buried.

Now I am not a coach who preaches just “turn that frown upside-down” and all problems go away. - I am a true believer that sometimes things SUCK! Plain and simple! There are moments with clients and life, where all I can truly say is, “yup, that sucks!” and we sit and discuss all the reasons that it is true ... but rather than getting stuck in it, I then follow up with “ok, now, where do we go from here?” It is within that moment we poke the elephant that we realize the solution for change often lies in listening to the problem. There is more than just the matter of changing perspective, but instead tapping into your self-awareness to seek the answers that make a transition to move forward.

So go ahead, listen to your elephant! Write down the message it keeps looming over you- That flaw you have, the fear of being 40 and single, the concern about not finding love, or being unhappy at work - let it out, and take a look at the words in front of you-don’t just see the statement, but link the emotions behind it. Once you do this, you will start to view the issue from a solution based state of mind. It may not be immediate, but by befriending your elephant, you will discover that all along they may have not been a roadblock, but instead be the guide you need along your sometimes slow but steady path toward achieving your dreams.