Oh, crap...it's Valentines Day.....

If in between balancing being the perfect girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, mother, lover, employee, boss, etc, you glanced down and realized Valentines Day is fast approaching, here are some ideas to avoid the last minute Bodega roses-and a year in the dog house..

Nothing bonds a couple more than being able to show you can just go and have a down home good time. Take the pressure off the cliché flowers, and prefix, and instead go for a night of apps at your local favorite restaurant, mini golf, or few games at the bowling alley. A little competitive edge can be a natural aphrodisiac!

Know your ladies schedule? Try stopping in the Starbucks she goes to every morning before she gets there, prepay for her coffee, and have the barista give her a card that says a location and time to meet you for a night filled with surprises. She will be excited the whole day.

For the girl on the go, get her to stop and take notice. Nothing is sweeter than a forget-me-not to show her she is on your mind. Try surprising her by putting a box of Frangelico Maribelle Truffles in her bag before she goes to work. The fact that you understand her sophisticated taste will definitely get you major points.

Celebrating a milestone Valentines Day together? Why not show your history? How? Find newspapers, articles, horoscopes, or mementos at http://www.newspaperarchive.com/ to create a card documenting the events going on in the world the day you two came together.  If jewelry in is the plan, present it with the message “looking back at all our history, I wouldn’t change a thing”

Create a scandalous scavenger hunt, getting custom fortune cookies from (http://www.MyLuckyFortune.com/home.php?cat=249) which hold sexy hints to your next move, or just put special messages for your Valentine.

Valentines Day Ideas

To many the mere mention of Valentines Day brings on the thought of obnoxious prefix dinners, a last minute rush to overpay for deli roses, unmet expectations, tailspin panic for originality, and the dreaded cry of fear “I have no one! OMG! I am going to die alone.”

Its time to change that stigma! Valentines Day isn’t about the perfect relationship, having to write,  “you are my everything, schmozie” across the sky, or sending a balloon clown to the office, it’s about recognizing the things in your life that are special, and knowing it is the simple moments that make them that way.

No matter if it is your spending time with your best friends, hugging your pet, telling your mom she is beautiful, thinking of the first kiss with your partner, or giving yourself a break, to realize you are amazing, Valentines day is about love! And realistically, who doesn’t need that?

Here are 5 ways to appreciate love for all the variations it comes in:

1.     A night out with friends

Valentines is one of the best nights out for singles! Have a sense of humor about it, and lighten up. Enjoying yourself on the night is a sure way to attract attention. Why not challenge each other to go out of your comfort zone, and have a fun time? Create a list each person has to accomplish by the end of the night. May it be getting a new number, making up “openers” for each other to use making the first approach, wearing a conversation piece like a candy necklace, or being bold sending a sending a sexy stranger a glass of Frangelico Liquor with a note, “seeing you made my night a whole lot sweeter”! I mean who could resist that?

2.     You are coupled up

Setting the mood is key! This Valentines day, take a moment to bring you back to when you were first dating. For a great way to go back to the simple pleasures, for dinner cook the first meal you ever made together. For dessert get fresh strawberries to dip in ghirardelli chocolate sauce, and mix Frangelico Liquor into your favorite hot coffee for a perfect nightcap.

For a gift highlighting your life together, create a photo book of your life so far, with the last page saying “to be continued...”

http://www.picaboo.com/photobooks/

3.     For family

For your kids- make cupcakes with a heart!  Put all the family members names in a hat, and have each person grab one or two. For whomevers name you selected, you will decorate a cupcake as a dedication to them. (http://www.williams-sonoma.com). No matter if it is for an ex husband, best friend, book smart cousin, or meddling sister, it is a creative way to remember those who make your life sweeter.

and have each person grab one or two. For whomevers name you selected, you will decorate a cupcake as a dedication to them. No matter if it is your book smart cousin, or meddling sister, it is a creative way to think of the one thing that makes them sweet in your life.

4.     For your Pets

A pet is like a member of the family, so why not give them a gift to let them know how special they are?

With Trixie and Peanuts “Candy hearts Treat Box” at least you know for sure this Valentines Day, you will have someone eating out of your hands!

http://www.trixieandpeanut.com/product-48302-Candy-Hearts-Treat-Box

5.     To reward yourself

Be kind to yourself, and realize you are worth it! Indulge in a massage, spring for the extra 10 minutes for that pedicure. Don’t want to splurge for the massage, enjoy a night in, and creating your own body scrub. Wash off the harshness of winter, and get skin that is baby soft to touch to prepare for that Spring romance. It's easy, all-natural, and so inexpensive, you'll want to make enough for gifts. 

Tools and Materials

            Body oil, Burt's Bees

            Epsom salt, sea salt, or organic cane sugar

            12 oz. PET Jar with cap, sks-bottle.com

            Lemon zest

Homemade Body Scrub How-To:

Combine 1 cup of body oil with 2 cups of Epsom or sea salts or organic cane sugar (depending on how fine a grain you like). We added lemon zest for color and fragrance. Package in jars (plastic is safest by the tub). 

The pink elephant in your head...

As I see clients, and assist them with both love lives and career, I notice a pattern-all of us have a BIG pink elephant that sits in the corner of our minds, making us believe we have some flaw that enables us to make the change to go for the happiness we desire.

The elephant is that space in your mind that you don’t want to talk about! The thing you believe is behind why you cant finding love, aren’t’ truly satisfied in your relationship, aren’t as successful as you want to be, or haven’t make the career strides you planned. If only you were more attractive, skinnier, more successful, younger, from a better family, went to a better school, listened more in third grade, had more connections, THEN things would be different!

We all have the belief that we need to have everything perfectly together, and we are lacking if we don’t. We strive for the ideal goal of success, true love, amazing kids, good health, and ultimate happiness. We are unapologetic to ourselves during a downturn, and instead look at the lives of others we perceive have “it all” romanticizing their existence.

Unfortunately, life is not always so simple, love, success, and health one year doesn’t guarantee the same rewards in the next. So, the elephant gets bigger.

So, why let it sit there? Because awakening it, facing it or, admitting to your self why you’re frustrated, or aren’t satisfied often means change-and change is hard! There are some situations you are stuck in, there isn’t a quick fix for, and they can take time and there are certain things it just seems easier to keep buried.

Now I am not a coach who preaches just “turn that frown upside-down” and all problems go away. - I am a true believer that sometimes things SUCK! Plain and simple! There are moments with clients and life, where all I can truly say is, “yup, that sucks!” and we sit and discuss all the reasons that it is true ... but rather than getting stuck in it, I then follow up with “ok, now, where do we go from here?” It is within that moment we poke the elephant that we realize the solution for change often lies in listening to the problem. There is more than just the matter of changing perspective, but instead tapping into your self-awareness to seek the answers that make a transition to move forward.

So go ahead, listen to your elephant! Write down the message it keeps looming over you- That flaw you have, the fear of being 40 and single, the concern about not finding love, or being unhappy at work - let it out, and take a look at the words in front of you-don’t just see the statement, but link the emotions behind it. Once you do this, you will start to view the issue from a solution based state of mind. It may not be immediate, but by befriending your elephant, you will discover that all along they may have not been a roadblock, but instead be the guide you need along your sometimes slow but steady path toward achieving your dreams.